


Getting to know you

by Tchell1



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Even is not alone, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Illness, isak loves his friends, suicide discussion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 06:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9058987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tchell1/pseuds/Tchell1
Summary: Isak was staring to get used to Even giving him this bits of information about himself out of the blue. He could almost understand why Even was doing it this way, but the fact was that even if Isak could not follow Even’s reasons, he would still offer bits of himself in return. Because it was Even; because he knew it was important.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Even mentions he thought about killing himself.  
> I tried to portrait Even in the beginnings of a manic episode, I'm not sure I was successful. Please, bear in mind there are different ways to portrait it.  
> I don't mean to offend anyone. If there is anything triggering that I did not tag correctly, please, let me know.

One afternoon, out of the blue, when Even and Isak were seated at a cafe, Even said very quietly:

 

 “When I’m low, I tend to push people away”

 

Isak not only was not expecting Even to say that but Even was not looking at him at all. Even’s eyes were glued into the window watching people cross the street.

 

Isak blinked and took one of Even’s hand in his.

 

“When I get stressed, I tend to have insomnia.” Isak said as quietly as Even had done.

 

Isak saw Even’s eyes leave the window and stop on him, a small surprised smile on his face.

 

“That’s… that’s good to know.” Even said and took a sip of his coffee.

 

___***___

 

Eskild once told Isak he had Even’s number on speed dial, just in case.

 

Knowing Even, Isak was certain all Eskild had to do to get Even’s name was ask and Even gladly gave it to him with a big smile on his face.

 

Isak was certain Eskild and Even were now message buddies. Isak saw the messages on Eskild phone. Usually, Eskild and Even talked about unusual places to go to and exchanged obscure trivia regarding Old Danish movies, of all things.

 

___***___

 

Isak and Even were at Even’s bedroom listening to music. Even was drawing and Isak was doing homework. Once in a while, Even would give Isak a bit of information regarding the artist or the music they were listening.

 

 Even’s taste in music was completely unpredictable. It varied from pop to rock, to indie to Reggie. Even had a collection of those useless facts only the most dedicated fan would know; except he had those for most of the bands. Isak found it very endearing.

 

“I learned how to draw because I could not communicate well.” Even said in the middle of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, right when Bonnie Tyler sang “Once upon a time there was light in my life /But now there's only love in the dark”.

 

Isak frowned.

 

“You have trouble communicating?”

 

Even just raised his eyebrows.

 

 _Right_. Isak thought.

 

“It took me seventeen years to come out to my parents.” Isak offered instead of answering Even’s insolent eyebrows.

 

Even smiled softly at him and raised the drawing he was doing for Isak to see.

 

It was both of them at Even’s bedroom, exactly as they were at the moment.

 

“I like that you are here.” Even said.

 

___***___

 

Sana loved Even.

 

They could spend hours and hours talking about anything. Sana’s brutal word view found on Even an eager listener that wanted to talk and discuss subjects most people were not interested in. Once, they spent four hours debating the Muslim laws for consuming meat. Not even once Sana looked at Even as if judging his intellect and that is almost a given when talking to Sana. She usually tires of all the obnoxious question she get for being different from the other Norwegians they knew.

 

With Even, though, Sana would actually discuss matters. They would talk and interact and listen to one another.

 

Isak still has no idea how that happened, but he could not be prouder of his boyfriend. Sana had become such an important part of Isak’s life and it would have been terrible If Even and she could not get along.

 

As it turned out, Isak shouldn’t have worried.

 

___***___

 

They were at the cafeteria with Jonas, Madhi and Magnus. Isak was seated between Even’s tights, with his back touching Even’s chest. Even’s head was resting on Isak’s shoulder, his arms surrounding Isak’s waist.  The boys were discuss whether Magnus should or should not ask Vilde on a date. Jonas, in special was very seriously describing what Magnus should do in his hypothetic date if Vilde decided she wanted to have sex on the car.

 

Isak could not help the eye roll regarding the conversation. It was stronger than him. Even was laughing quietly behind him.

 

When Even stopped laughing, Isak felt Even tighten his hold on him.

 

“Sometimes, I still think this is too good to be true and that I’ll fuck it up.” Even whispered on Isak’s ear.

 

Isak squeezed Even’s hand and turned his head to him.

 

“Sometimes I think I’ll fuck it up and you’ll realize I was never good enough.”

 

Even blinked surprised and kissed Isak.

 

It took the boys two seconds to start catcalling them.

 

___***___

 

Magnus and Madhi had accepted Even since Isak told them about him. It was a quiet acceptance and Isak never had to explain Even more that those first conversations.

 

Then, Madhi and Magnus met Even and found out Even liked to play FIFA; that Even actually could spend hours and hours playing the game. They were in love.

 

___***___

 

Even was at Isak’s waiting for Eskild and Noora to get ready to go to a pregame at Eva’s. He and Isak were seated on the couch going through a meme generator app. Once in a while, one of them would laugh louder than normal, causing Lynn to shout at them to keep quiet.

 

The last one to not contain his laugher was Isak. Someone had resurrected the Boromir meme. It was a picture for a naked man breaking ice on a frozen lake with the legend “one does not simply live in Norway”. Isak found it hilarious.

 

Even looked at him with those adoring blue eyes of his and kissed him. Isak kissed him back. He was always eager to kiss Even.

 

“When I’m high, I think I’m invincible.” Even said looking at Isak. “I can be arrogant and very stupid.”

 

Isak closed his eyes. He was staring to get used to Even giving him this bits of information about himself. He could almost understand why Even was doing it this way, but the fact was that even if Isak could not follow Even’s reasons, he would still offer bits of himself in return. Because it was Even; because he knew it was important.

 

 “I tend to dismiss those I’m not familiar with.” Isak said back.

 

Even closed his eyes slowly.

 

“You are s-” Even started.

 

Noora appeared at the living room, hair straight and a red lipstick on her mouth.

 

“Right, sorry. Eva called. She wanted advice on cloth choice. I’m ready now. Where’s Eskild?”

 

Even blinked.

 

“Still choosing which legging he should wear” Even said.

 

___***___

 

Even and Jonas relationship was a strange one. Isak thought that it was almost like they were two planet with different orbits around the same sun. They saw each other and they respected each other, but they did not interact much.

 

Isak knew Jonas and Even have had a few conversations and that mostly the conversations was about him. He knew Jonas liked Even and that Even liked Jonas. But that was it.

 

And then, one day, Isak and Jonas heard someone talking about Even and how dangerous he could be. Before Isak could do anything, Jonas had gone to the person and very calmly told them how childlike their behavior was. He them proceed to list all of Even’s qualities and when and where he had seen those qualities in action.

 

Isak had to drag Jonas away because he had already listed five of those and did not look like he would stop anytime soon.

 

“So if I were you, I would be very carefull on how you talk about people you don’t know. You never know who might be listening!!” Jonas was still talking while an ecstatic Isak was dragging him away.

 

Isak figured Jonas and Even would be just fine. He did not need them to be the best of friends, he needed them to understand one another. That seemed to be working for Jonas and Even.

 

___***___

 

Isak saw the first signs Even was entering a manic episode. Even’s eyes became brighter and his voice became louder and his laugher was bigger. Even seemed full of life and energy and thought all of his ideas were excellent.

 

Isak had taken him to a park when Even said they should explore the world more. Isak was at a bench, looking at his beautiful boyfriend, who was currently charming the boy inside the Kebab store, his smile big and his hand gestures very open and welcoming. Isak figured the episode would last for at least a few more days and was already planning for when Even crashed down.

 

God, he hated that this happened to Even. He hated that after being so happy and so carefree, Even would spend at least two days buried under his covers thinking the world hated him.

 

“So, this was a great idea!” Even suddenly said appearing beside Isak with two kebab orders. “Wow, I love the park!” he said happily eating his food.

 

Isak looked back at him, riding the wave of happiness Even was in. Even looked back at Isak, pouty lips puffed with all the kebab he had stuffed into his mouth and all Isak could think was that Even had never looked so adorable.

 

Even swallowed and said:

 

“You make my world a brighter place”

 

Isak could not help the small relieved laugh that escaped him.

 

“That… that is good to know.” Isak said pulling Even in for a kiss, kebab and all “Sometimes I still ask myself what the hell you saw in me. I could barely look at myself in the mirror.” Isak whispered into Even’s mouth.

 

Even kissed him again.

 

“You are the most amazing person I know. I want to visit the whole world with you.” Even said very confidently and got up, taking Isak with him to a stroll around the park.

 

Isak went willingly.

 

___***___

 

Eva had loved Even before they had been formally introduced. She was already his great fan and there was nothing no one could say that would make her think otherwise.

 

The first time Even and Eva really interacted, was at school while both girls and boys were discussing their future after Nissen. Without knowing Eva already adored him, Even said in tired voice:

 

“Look, guys, the future is not set in stone and whomever you were yesterday will probably not be who you are tomorrow. Like, we don’t have to have all our lives and our personalities already  figured out.”

 

And the thing is Isak knew Even was talking about himself, about his struggles to figure out which part of him is his genuine personality and which part of him was just his unbalanced brain. For Eva, though, Isak knew, his words had a great impact. Eva was always struggling between what she felt was right and what she felt she should to feel wrong about.

 

At that moment, without Even knowing, he had gained a friend for all his life. Eva would protect and defend Even and no one would be able to dissuade her.

 

Isak’s heart was so full of love for all these amazing people. He had no idea life could be this fulfilling.

 

___***___

 

“I thought about killing myself” Even whispered to Isak in the middle of the night, when the darkness was thick and Isak could not look Even in the eye. Even’s voice was small and scared; as if his admission made the situation real.

 

Isak sighed sadly. He knew this particular confession was coming. He thought he was prepared for it. He wasn’t.

 

“You did not go through” Isak said instead of his usual confession. He tried to find Even’s eyes and could not. Even had changed position and had his back to Isak.

 

“I thought about it more than once” Even continued. “Like it was some kind of liberation from my illness”

 

Isak found Even’s body and brought him close to him, wrapping his arms around the older boy. The felt tears gathering at his eyes.

 

“I’m so glad you are still here” Isak offered. “I want to stay with you”

 

Even turned back to Isak.

 

“If… if things go south-”

 

“I’ll still be here.” Isak said “You are not alone.” He completed.

 

Isak felt Even get closer to him, touching his forehead to Isak’s.

 

“Sometimes it still feels as if I am.” Even confessed with the same scared voice.

 

Isak found Even’s mouth in the dark and kissed him fiercely and relived, because to this confession, Isak had a comeback.

 

“I hate to be the one to break your bubble, love” Isak said and he hoped Even could hear the happiness in the voice. “But you inadvertently gathered a group of friends.” He hugged Even “You exchange text messages with Eskild about long dead actors, you discuss politics with Sana, Madhi has signed you, him and Magnus into an online Fifa tournament that starts next next month, you defend Jonas whenever someone brings up his two failed relationships with Ingrid and Eva, and, by the way, you weren’t even here when the situation exploded.” He kissed Even again “You and Eva started a book club where you can read corny books and discuss whether simultaneously liking romance novels and dark ending makes you a contradiction” Isak smiled delighted “I mean, god, love, they love you so much.”

 

Even left out a wet laugh. Isak had the sudden realization that Even have not figured out his inner circle had expanded. Even was still operating under the impression all Isak’s friends only tolerated him. He was so wrong. Even was in for a long ride. None of them would let Even go without a fight.

 

Isak rubbed his nose to Even’s.

 

“Never alone, Even. Never again.”

 


End file.
